A Piano Teacher Shares A Flicker Of Light

“This Moment In Time”

For me, coaching people on piano and performing are two activities that, when engaged in either, time stops. If you are either a piano teacher or a performer yourself, surely you can identify with this truth. To be completely immersed in something means you’re living in the moment… and nothing tops that.

As anyone else with approximately four decades of experience doing just about anything, your perspective inevitably matures. You see things differently. You experience life on another level. AND the tendency is to want others to do the same.

“I Gotta Be Me”

However, I’ve learned that it cannot be forced. I mean, really, it took me four sets of ten years to arrive at a point where my panorama has widened to a degree and my attitude has become “seasoned” to a point (with much still yet to learn). I had to endure hundreds and hundreds of mistakes, jump over hurdle after hurdle, fall in the trenches to find my way out, and wipe off the dirt after each recovery. Expecting a piano student to magically adopt your wisdom in an instant because you would like nothing less for your protégé is admirable… yet unfair and a tad farfetched at the same time.

After all, each disciple has his or her own lessons to learn. It’s my perspective that a piano teacher’s job doesn’t include removing or even minimizing those challenges. Rather, if we use our experience to help students adopt attitudes that more effectively and efficiently plow through them, we are giving them the best gift possible.

“Lovin’ You”

At a much younger age, I heard or read a piece of wisdom that I wasn’t quite ready for. Sure, it made sense from a logical standpoint. But I didn’t fully absorb it back then. If only I had… wow.

It went something like this: “Learn to love what you don’t like.” Throughout the years, I’ve often shared that with my students in one form or another. I usually put it like this: “As long as it’s good for you, learn to love what you don’t like (or even hate).”

I feel like each and every time I’ve shared that, I was also trying to get myself to learn the lesson more deeply. Can you imagine? What if every child was taught –  yes, with words, but more importantly by example – to adopt a desire to learn to love what was despised, provided it was something in his or her best interest?

“Gonna Fly Now”

Talk about power. Each obstacle would be looked at as a potential triumph. Mountains would be moved. Mistakes would be laughable. Doubts would be doubted. Each and every challenge would be like piece of wrapped candy waiting to be unraveled and chewed. Nothing would seem impossible. The rumbling earth beneath would be used as a dance floor. Success in any endeavor would seem a mere formality.

Impossible? I don’t think so.

However, for a youngster to even entertain such an attitude, they need a reference. They need adults (with a clue) to look up to. Why should a piano teacher be the exception?

Initially, it was there early in life… you know, an existence that knew no  boundaries. A baby, up until the age of about three, knows no limits. They learn them from the adults surrounding them and those who care for them. Hmmm…

“Shed A Little Light”

Nevertheless, after the age of three, some of that damage takes its toll. That baby grows into a little person who reflects a good amount of that doubt and low self-esteem taught to them by their “superiors.”

As years have gone by and my vision of this has gained some clarity, I’ve made an effort to remain cognizant of the fact that the student walking into my studio has “been through the mill” to a degree. Although it’s not my job to take on a parental role of any kind (not my right or desire), for that 30 or 60 minutes I can serve as the best example I’m capable of.

I can do this with little effort as long as I put myself in the shoes of this youngster who has placed some faith in me… and I can use the piano as a vehicle with which to convey much of my perspective. Yes, it’s a great music-making instrument. Along with that, it’s a fantastic tool for building self-esteem and demonstrating how limitations are mere illusions. A piano teacher who achieves that provides a service that goes far beyond music lessons.

“Not A Bad Thing”

It’s been humorously expressed that “A piano is a monster that screams when you touch its teeth.” I find that funny to a degree. I find it even funnier (as in interesting but not humorous) that an individual will actually treat a piano that way. Perhaps you can recall how a new piano student, upon asked to play something, will be ever so hesitant as they raise both hands and lower those fingers on the keys in a fashion that reveals anxiety. Those hands and fingers seem to scream “What if it sounds bad!”

Bad.

You see? Bad is an option that was learned very early in life. (Now, that’s bad.)

When I witness this, I often reflect – and share – my one and only childhood experience with a set of finger paints. Have you ever had the experience? I still remember the paint jars and paper that was provided, too. Immersing my hands into those paints and smudging one color after another onto that canvas with absolutely no reservation and zero boundaries. I could do no wrong. My grin widened to its potential. I was creating. It felt good. I felt good.

There was no hesitation about putting my hands into those jars. Placing them onto that canvas couldn’t happen fast enough. I was… I was… uhmm… well, I was in the moment.

“Free Bird”

But playing piano requires more structure, right?

Hogwash. Passion first… refinement follows. Playing music is playing. It has no “requirements.”

Am I getting carried away? Naa. That canvas started out as a bunch of arbitrary swirls and colorful globs. If I had saved it and could look at it today, would it talk to me? Yes. It would scream, “Freeeeeedom!”

Eventually, those swirls and globs became more “sophisticated.” The walls of a house had formed… then its roof. Birds eventually appeared in the horizon. But all that structure was a privilege after the freedom was experienced.

Imagine if that kind of uninhibited enthusiasm was to accompany those hands and fingers each and every time they approached those piano keys.  What improvisations would they give birth to? What masterpieces would eventually be written? What sort of potential could be realized as a result of feeling that good about playing the piano?

How much of a struggle would it be to get that kid to go to the piano and practice every day?

We’re not minimizing the fact that rudiments, technique, and reading skills are part of the game. But we are emphasizing that the student’s inner feelings, attitude, and motivation come first. When those are allowed to naturally flourish, everything else manifests as a result of self-initiative. Resistance becomes less a part of the equation..

“This Is My Idea”

As I am writing this, I just had a mental flashback unrelated to music. In my twenties, I was working in a factory as a material handler. A couple of fellow workers were talking about some ideas they had that would improve the working conditions. That conversation quickly included some disappointment as one of them stated, “They (the bosses) never listen. It’s not even worth trying to get them to see it our way.” Once the chatter subsided, a quiet bystander by the name of Bill, with his hands on his hips, shared this piece of wisdom:

“If you want to get them to do something, you gotta let ’em think it’s their idea.”

I wasn’t even a part of that huddle, but I was nearby and heard it all. I never forgot Bill’s tip-off. Some 35 years later, thanks Bill.

When it’s the student’s idea to take the initiative, you don’t need to strive all that much. Just be. Be the example. Be the encouragement. Be the nurturer. Be the one that allows the natural process to unfold. Be the one who says “yes” to that youngster’s entire experience.

“I Feel Good”

“Hold your fingers on the keys like this!” or “Play that measure again without turning your thumb underneath!” might get some resistance if it’s your idea. But look at it from their point of view. That little Beethoven wants to feel good. Just ask yourself if you’re doing it in a way that accomplishes that. As teachers, it’s rather common to handle things the way we were taught without giving it a second thought. Hint: if it’s not working, give it a second thought.

Excerpt from 88 Keys To Learning   O________KEY#18 O                ///   How Do You React To Those Musical Challenges? As you know already, I am totally in favor of training our responses toward challenges to work for us! And as I mentioned, this is an extremely important concept on which this program is based (and one that is acknowledged quite a bit!). After all, when your thoughts and emotions are working on your side, then every challenge in front of you is viewed from a positive perspective. Maintaining a great attitude as you handle challenges – better yet, as you welcome challenges – gives you a much more resourceful state to work from! I’m sure you can recall situations or events that have repeated themselves in your past experience in which you reacted differently toward them, depending on your state of mind at the time. Maybe one example is while watching a television show (whether it be a situation comedy or other) that you saw twice or more, and you reacted differently toward it the second viewing because of your mind set at the time. Maybe you can recall listening to a certain song – and, depending on what you were thinking or feeling at the time, your interpretation of that song was different during each listening. I think you get the idea here… So, find something in your musical agenda that offers at least a situation or two in which, in the past, your approach toward it was, let’s say, less than totally optimistic… a challenge(s) in which you have allowed your internal responses to react, even to a slight degree, a bit on the negative side. Be honest with yourself here… Have you found something? Take a look at one of those situations and actually observe how you react toward it. Is it fingering a certain scale? Making a transition from one measure to another in that new song you’re working on? Is it playing those sixteenths in time? Whatever it is… R.E.A.C.T.  to it from a perspective that WORKS IN YOUR FAVOR! Reason for your negative reaction… acknowledge why you feel the way you do about this challenge in front of you Excuse if for being there… accept that you had that initial reaction and excuse it, since that reaction hasn’t worked for you Adjust your thinking toward this challenge… understand that getting through this situation will help your musical self-growth Consider the benefit it offers… think about how successfully mastering this challenge will prepare you for similar future situations Turn it in your favor… realizing that this situation is offering you something of value, go at it with enthusiasm! MAKE THIS A HABIT AND WATCH HOW MUCH MORE OF YOUR POTENTIAL IS REALIZED BY YOU!

“Teach Me To Walk In The Light”

To me, this is where the pleasure and privilege of teaching is really at. You see, that child is my teacher. Little Rebecca, sitting on that bench while looking up at me for guidance, is showing me the way. She is letting me know through her facial expressions and her actions (or lack of) whether my approach is valuable or not. She is teaching me how to be flexible. She is giving me the opportunity to renew my approach so that our time together can be both fun and productive.

How do I interpret this? Well, I have two basic choices. I can either assume the stance that “my way is the way it’s going to be and you can like it or lump it” (those teachers are a dime a dozen, friend) OR you can “be like water” as Bruce Lee so appropriately put it. You can allow Rebecca to be your guiding light. Trust me… learn to observe, listen, and adjust… and you’ll become a better teacher for it. When Rebecca matures and looks back, she will reflect on her time with you with much deserved respect and appreciation.

Maybe it goes without saying, but what you’ve done for Rebecca, you’ve done for so many others. After all, how do you suppose Rebecca is likely to conduct herself with others as a result of having you as her iconic wonder?

Not bad.

Contributed by David Longo, PianoAmore.com